{1} Post these rules
{2} Each tagged person must post 8 things about themselves in their journal
{3} At the end you have to choose 8 people to tag, and post their icons on the same journal
{4} Go to their page and send a message saying you tagged them
{5} NO tag-backs

1. I have tons of stories I have yet to finnish XD
2. My closest guy friend is like my brother, and it makes me happy to say that.
3. I hate chocolate,
4. and carmel,
5. and a lot of other foods.
6. And yes, I am human, and American.
7. I'm deathly afraid of spiders, bad experiance.
8. My guy friend of my brother is dating my best friend who is the ex to my boyfriend where my boyfriend is my guy friend brother is his best bud. Weird hunh?

I tag you people who read this and have yet to do it!!!

Hey, you ever get the feeling something is changing around you so fast that you don't even have time to blink? Or that you're left out of some things that you wish you were in? I know those who are reading this will wish to cheer me up but I've just started that most hated moment that God/Mother Nature gives you and I'm just wanting some feelings out... I've been up and down... lots of crazy shit you know? I mean, *laughs some and it dies down quietly* I cut my foot, like twice, and scrapped my knees I mean god, I'm hurt proned, even in soccer, but I bounce back quickly so pain doesn't really effect me... I think I like it a lot and it's getting a bit weird... 'cause it's not somthing I should enjoy. And I hate lots of blood and gore and stuff, but reading it and watching it is so interesting, makes my blood pump, and I like my blood pumping, it's just as good as speeding hell fast in a car or on a four-wheeler. Bitching. Anyways, I got off track.

I've been feeling that I'm not getting anywhere good or well any time soon. I'm hating those 'college' talks. They get me so rialed because I hate how they pressure me and such. I'm trying to find a job for a class for my senior year and I'm not getting anywhere closer, I'm gonna have to try some places soon, hopefuly they'll work.

And you know my friend Ash Pash? yea... I wanna help her, I just want to hug her and tell her it's okay, that I'll be there any time she needs me, and I want to prove to her I will be. She's to good a girl to fall into a mind pit like I am, and I don't want her resorting to drastic meassures to feel good or anything, I want her to be happy where ever she goes... and all you who call me strong and tough and stuff like that, I wish! I mean yea I can be tough and laugh things off, and I won't take shit at times, and I make friends easily and a good person to hang around, but I'm not exactly what everyone wants in a friend in my view... I'm very very paranoid about people talking about me behind my back and stuff like that and I'm a good bit childish at times, or I'm a tad to quiet... I even have the worst of thoughts imagineable.

Would you believe me if I said I've had a lot of reacurring thoughts of when I used to cut my wrist, and don't go freaking, yea I used to do it, but I'm not doing it now... why would I when two of my closet guys to me said that if I did it again, they'd do just the same? I don't exactly believe them... but I don't want to attempt it.

I'm a bit tired too, so I'm zoneing out, but I'm okay none the less. So all yall if you read this, know not to worry, I just need some vent time, time to talk to some people one on one or somthing, let out my feelings that I don't know are then. Crying will do me good, I've grown to love crying cause it makes me feel refreashed, only bad thing about it is is my eyes end up hurting and I sometimes get a headache. So yea, I'm home for all yall who know what I'm talkin about, most of yall should. To everyone else, have a rocking summer if you are having one!

[x] You have screamed at an inanimate object for 'hurting you.'
[x] You have ran into a glass/screen door.
[] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
[x] You have thought of something funny and laughed, and then people gave you weird looks.
[x] You have run into a tree/bush.
[] You have been called a blond.

TOTAL: 4


[x] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow.
[] You just tried to lick your elbow.
[x] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star had the same melody.
[x] You just sang them to make sure.
[x] You have tripped on your own feet and fallen.
[x] You have choked on your own spit.

TOTAL: 9


[ ] You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it.
[x] You type with three fingers or less.
[x] You have accidentally caught something on fire.
[x] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose.
[x] You have caught yourself drooling.

TOTAL: 13


[x] You have fallen asleep in class.
[x] Sometimes you just stop thinking.
[x] Sometimes when you are telling a story you forget what you are talking about.
[ ] People often shake their heads and walk away from you
[ ] You are often told to use your 'inside voice.'

TOTAL: 16


[x] You use your fingers to do simple math.
[ ]You have eaten a bug accidentally
[ ] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.
[x] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.
[x] You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand/pocket the whole time.

TOTAL: 19


[ ] You have posted bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen if you don't.
[ ] You break a lot of things. ( I pods mostly! )
[x] You tilt your head when you're confused.
[x] You have fallen out of your chair before.
[x] When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture on the ceiling.
[x] The word "um" is used frequently.
[ ] You don't know what "um" means.
[x] You say "what" and "huh" a lot.
[x] You plan to use a calculator to multiply your score for this bulletin.

TOTAL: 25


NOW, take your total, and multiply it by 4.
and re-post as: I am --% Mentally ill.

I'm a 100%!!! And I didn't use a calculator! XD I was planning to if the number wasn't somthing I could multiply easily.

This won't look good for me... XD

Ok, Here's the deal... Start with 100% and subtract 1% for everything that you've done. Then re-post as your __% Virgin. Try to guess which ones i've done and haven't.


Good Luck~

The Lower the number you have, the more you've done!

1. Smoked.


2. Drank alcohol.


3. Cried when someone died.
x

4. Been drunk.


5. Had sex.


6. Been to a concert.
x

7. gotten/given a handjob.


8. gotten/given a blowjob.


9. Been verbally/​​​sexually harassed.
x

10. Verbally/​​​sexually harassed somebody.
x

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 96%


11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
x

12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.
X

13.Cheated on a boyfriend/​​​girlfrend before
x

14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/​​​girlfriend.
x
​​
​15. Been to prom.


16. Cried at school.
X

17. Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.


18. Went streaking.


19. Given or received a lap dance.
x

20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.
X

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 89%

21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.


22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.


23. Kissed a stranger.


24. Hugged a stranger.
x

25. Went scuba diving.


26. Driven a car.
x

27. Gotten an x-ray.
x

28. Hit by a car.


29. Had a party.
X

30. Done serious drugs.


PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 85%


31. Played strip poker/darts.
x

32. Got paid to strip for someone.


33. Run away from home.


34. Broken a bone.


35. Eaten sushi.
X

36. Bought porn.


37. Watched porn.
X

38. Made porn.


39. Had a crush on someone of the same sex.
X

40. Been in love.
x

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 80%


41. Made Out.
x

42. Laughed so hard you cried..
X

43. Cried yourself to sleep..
X

44.Laughed yourself to sleep


45. Stabbed yourself.


46.Shot a gun
x

47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
X

48. Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
X

49. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
X

50. Watched an animal die..


PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 73%


51. Watched a person die.


52. Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person.


53. Pranked somebody.


54. Put somebody in the hospital.


55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.


56. Kissed somebody of the same sex.
x

57. Dressed punk.
X

58. Dressed goth.
X

59. Dressed preppy.


60. Been to a motocross race.


PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 70%


61. Avoided somebody..
X

62. Been stalked..


63. Stalked someone..


64. Met a celebrity.


65. Played an instrument..
X

66. Ridden a horse..
x

67. Cut yourself.
x

68.Bungee jumped


69. Ding dong ditched somebody..


70.Been to a wild party


PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 66%


71. Got caught stealing something.


72. Kicked/punched a guy in the balls..
X

73. Stolen a boyfriend/​​​girlfriend from a friend.


74. Gone out with your friend's crush..


75. Got arrested.


76. Been pregnant.


77. Babysat..
X

78. Been to another country..
X

79. Started your house on fire.


80. Had an encounter with a ghost.


PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 63%


81. Donated your hair to cancer patients.
x

82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by.
X

83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
x

84. Had a boyfriend/​​​girlfriend for over 3 months.
X

85. Sat on your butt all day..
X

86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
X

87. Had a job.


88. Gotten cut from a sports team.


89. Been called a whore.
x

90.Danced like a whore


PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 56%


91. Been mistaken for a teacher.
x

92. Been in a car accident.


93. Been told you have beautiful eyes.
X

94. Been told you have beautiful hair.
x

95. Raped somebody.


96. Danced in the rain.
x

97. Been rejected.
X

98. Walked out of a restaurant without paying.


99. Punched someone/​​​slapped someone in the face.
X

100. Been raped.



My percentage: 50%

That's just horrible... XD

Okay, so I've come to terms with some emotions that I just can't have bottoled up any more or I'll burst soon. Now, a few friends have told me to go to the people that are causing me the mixed feelings and tell them how I feel but... I don't want to deal with the "I'm sorries" or "it's not my fault" or "it's not only my fault" or any of that stuff. I just don't. So I thought that posting a journal and having them see if would be a bit better, it saves speaking to them but causes a bit more arguments maybe. Now, these things havn't just started happening, these kinds of things have been going on for a long time...

For one, my best friend, she's gone through fazes in which she thinks she's being replaced. For you to know this, my best friend, you never will be replaced. No matter much how you may anger me or get on my nerves. Piss me off by saying somthing to me, and I don't enjoy being bossed around, no one will replace you, cause I care to much for you, and your attention needy personality. I know you've grown weary of me talking to friends more than you at times, but you've done your equal fair share in the same thing to make me feel just as left out. But even if I do hang out with them a lot, it doesn't mean I'm going to replace them for you. We've been through thick and thin, and through many arguments and spats at one another. But it's what makes us such good friends.

Another things is, to a few other incidents, I feel very neglected. Friends have been invited here and there and I can understand some things and some... I feel like I'm not wanted. Then theres one friend who snaps very harshly to me a lot and I feel pure pain and anger at her for that. Though these are just friends inside our small group, and like only two of them aren't causing me head strain and anger towards them. I just... I just don't want to put up with it anymore. and I can't put up with it anymore.... I've cracked enough

I know I'm going to regret this journal, it's just easier than going to all you and hearing the reasons why I should feel like this... I'm going to sleep some because I've been drained from school, soccer, and a never ending period/egg drop or what the crap it is... Goodbye, and please don't give messages saying "sorry I didn't know you felt this way" or anything sympethatic like that, I don't want to deal with this shit anymore.