[link] and here I thought blondes were stupid (no offense).
[link] teaches you somthing about changeing tires.
[link] what a chocolate bar
can't do for you.
[link] Stupidest yet funniest tetris out there.
[link] are you a stupid American?
[link] Avenue Q!!
[link] everybody loves chocolate (cept me!

nye). The following videos have mature content such as curse words, veiw at on risk:
[link] [link] [link] [link] [link] [link]
_tWeFFPKGs .

"I got a sweater for Christmas.
What I really wanted was
a screamer or a moaner."

"Stupidity is not a handicap!
Park elsewhere!"

"If aliens are smart enough
to travel through space,
why do they keep abducting
the dumbest people on earth?"
THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY

Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?

Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?

Ya' know... there's big money in kidneys... and this guy's got two of 'em.

Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.

Damm! There go the lights again...

What's this doing here?

That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!

Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog!

Sterile, schemerle. The floor's clean, right?

What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change?

OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.

This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?

Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

"I gave up smoking, drinking and sex.
It was the worst fifteen minutes of my life."

"Kinky is using a feather.
Perverted is using the whole rooster."

"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the
things I cannot change, the courage to
change the things I can and the wisdom
to hide the bodies of the people I had to
kill because they pissed me off."
CHILDREN'S BOOK TITLES
THAT NEVER MADE IT TO THE BEST SELLER LIST

You Were an Accident

Strangers Have the Best Candy

The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator

The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

Your Nightmares Are Real!

Grandpa Gets a Casket

Dads New Wife, Robert

Curious George and the High Voltage Fence

The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy

Whining, Kicking and Screaming To Get Your Way

What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?

Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?

Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

"How come we have to choose
from just 2 persons for president,
and 50 for Miss America?"

"If life serves you lemons, make lemonade.
If life gives you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys."

"Remember:
FIRST you pillage,
THEN you burn."

"If at first you don't succeed,
destroy all evidence that you even tried."

"I need someone really bad.
Are you really bad?"

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."

"If you think there is good in everybody,
you haven't met everybody."

"I Live in my own little world,
But it's OK,
Everyone knows me here."

"If your voting could really change things,
it would be illegal."

"A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that a deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify about in court. When the Godfather goes to confront the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the 10 million bucks he embezzled from me is."
The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the money is.
The bookkeeper signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The attorney tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it the bookkeeper's temple and says, "Ask him again!"
The attorney signs to the bookkeeper, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him!"
The bookkeeper signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"
The Godfather asks the attorney, "Well, what'd he say?"
The attorney replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."
Lawyers...You gotta love 'em. "

"I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,
not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car."

"I can't rememberer whether
I'm the good twin or the evil twin."

"Join the army
Travel the world,
Meet interesting people
And kill them."

"GOD IS LOVE.
LOVE IS BLIND.
Stevie Wonder is Blind.
therefore,
Stevie Wonder is God."

"24 hours in a day
24 beers in a case
Coincidence?
I think not!"

"Be nice to your kids.
They'll choose your nursing home."

"They call it "PMS" because
"Mad Cow Disease" was already taken."

"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."

"

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the Kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?", she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee." Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?", he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do," she replies.
The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues: "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too," she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have gotten out today."

"You are not drunk
if you can lie on the floor
without holding on."

"We have enough youth.
How about a fountain of "smart"?"

"A fool and his money
can throw one hell of a party."

"Five days a week my body is a temple.
The other two it's an amusement park."

"money isn't everything,
but it sure keeps the kids in touch."

"Don't Drink and Drive
You might hit a bump and spill something."

"I like cats too.
Let's exchange recipes."

"Police station toilet stolen
....Cops have nothing to go on."

"Alabama state motto:
At least we're not Mississippi."

"Gaseous clouds
have been detected
around Uranus."

"ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY."

"The more I learn about terrorism,
the more I understand the phone company."

"In just two days from now,
tomorrow will be yesterday."

"A Clean Desk is a sign
of a messy deskdrawer."

"A clear conscience is
the sign of a bad memory."

"I always wanted to be a procrastinator,
I just never got around to it."

"Ever stop to think
and forget to start again..."

"Can I trade this job for what's behind door # 2?"

"I don't do drugs anymore
'cause I get the same effect
by just standing up too fast."

"It's hard to make a comeback
when you haven't been anywhere."

"If marriages were outlawed,
only outlaws would have in-laws."

"All men are idiots,
And I married their king."

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will
sit in a boat and drink beer all day."

"KENNEDY COMPOUND
KEEP OUT
Trespassers will be violated"

"DRIVER CARRIES NO MONEY
He's Married"

"Tell Me again
how lucky I am
to work here.
I keep forgetting."

"SITUATION DESPERATE!
Send Chocolate."

"Horn broken. watch for finger."

"INSTANT HUMAN
(Just Add Coffee)"

"Chaos, Panic and Disorder!
My work here is done."

"What happens if you get scared
half to death twice?"

"The statement below is true.
The statement above is false."

"Jesus is coming!
Look busy."

"Two wrongs do not make a right.
But three lefts do."

"Who are these kids
and why do they call me "Mom"?"

"Is reading in the bathroom
considered multi-tasking?"

"If you run out of sick days,
call in dead."

"All true wisdom is found on t-shirts."

"One-Seventh of your life will be spent on Mondays."

"If i throw a stick, will you leave?"

"Never underestimate the power
of stupid people in large groups."

"Don't hate yourself in the morning.
SLEEP UNTIL NOON."

"I got out of bed for this?"

"I don't have a license to kill
But I do have a learner's permit."

"If your feet smell
and your nose runs,
you're built upside down."

"I pretend to work.
They pretend to pay me."

"Here I am!
Now what are your other two wishes?"

"KENTUCKY:
Five million people,
Fifteen last names."

"I'm out of estrogen
and I've got a gun."

"I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable."

"The trouble with life is
there's no background music."

"I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her name was, "Always"."

"When you do a good deed, get a receipt,
in case heaven is like the IRS."

"Come in. My day was ruined anyway."

"Honk if you love peace and quiet"
Kay, I'm not racist, or critisising anyone or anything they belive in, these slogans I found are just funny as ever to me. I love some of em and I'm sure most of you will to, enjoy them, make stamps and avitars out of em, whatever you wish, just have fun with it, and repeat these in your daily life. Pass them on and share the laughter and fun. Copy and past above to spred the laughs and to show the world about our sense of humour. Oh and the videos above... I got more. Just, these are the really funny ones XD. Enjoy and pass em on.